


Belladonna

by Easily_Obsessed



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: AU, Belladonna - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Red John, Mentions of Suicide, Poison, Post-Episode: S05E02 Devil's Cherry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29960913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Easily_Obsessed/pseuds/Easily_Obsessed
Summary: AU set post S5E2. TW - mentions of suicide.Jane ingests belladonna for the second time in a matter of days but this time it is on purpose. He wants to try and see his daughter again. Lisbon is the one to find him unconscious.It is difficult for two people who are very tightly wound and emotionally constipated to have deep conversations about mental health, but they sure are going to try. Their friendship is too important.
Relationships: Patrick Jane & Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Kudos: 16





	Belladonna

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this weeks ago when I was feeling a bit meh. Decided to finish it instead of doing uni work...

**Belladonna**

Being the departmental lead of the major crimes unit at CBI is a fulfilling job, especially during those sweet moments when cases are closed. There is that moment of reward, after tireless work of following leads and questioning suspects which can sometimes take what feels like an age. When there is a solution to the puzzle that the team spend days, sometimes weeks trying to solve, it is worthwhile.

Sadly, the job isn’t all chasing bad guys and putting them behind bars. There is a lot of paperwork that needs to be done and being the boss of the unit, most of it is up to Agent Teresa Lisbon.

Today saw the result of a particularly interesting case. Interesting not because of the story behind the murder, money being at the forefront of the guilty party’s mind, but noteworthy because of the team’s consultant accidentally ingesting poison at the house of the victim. Belladonna otherwise known as the “devil’s cherry” was in the tea and caused him to hallucinate, after he needed his stomach pumped.

It has been a strange couple of days which ended with the neighbour, Betty Fulford being charged with the murder of Victor Mendelssohn.

Having just finished typing up the paperwork, Lisbon was ready to head home and relax in front of some late-night television. Just as she is about to switch off her computer, the phone rings and she quickly understands that tonight will not be her night. Little sleep is part of the job but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Another crime has been committed and she is going to have to call the rest of the team back in – they will be delighted. “Cho, I know you’ve not long left, but we’ve got another one. Call Rigsby and Van Pelt, tell them to get to the crime scene, I will message you the address. I am going to go upstairs and break the good news to Jane.”

Patrick Jane has definitely not been himself as of late. With leads on the Red John case coming and going all too frequently he finds himself frustrated too much of the time. Getting poisoned on the job certainly hasn’t helped matters especially because the belladonna caused him to hallucinate his deceased daughter. When it wore off, he felt like he lost her all over again.

In that period of loss, he made a stupid decision, to try and get those visions back again. If anyone asked him why, he wouldn’t know how to answer but he has. He acquired some of the devil’s cherry for himself intermixed with tea leaves and made himself a cup. Big mistake.

A part of her wants to leave her partner to it – especially after the week he has had – but if the rest of them have to traipse to a crime scene this late at night then he isn’t getting a free ride to skip that, so after shrugging on her jacket she heads on upstairs to the loft space which he has claimed his own.

Usually, the door is shut and locked but on being able to view it she notices that he has left it ajar, which is odd, because he tends to keep the space very private. “Jane!” She calls his name with a knock on the door and furrows her brow when she doesn’t receive a response. “Jane-” She repeats his name as she slides open the door but is silenced by the sight of him on the floor, curled up in a ball. “Oh my god.”

Lisbon hastily darts to his side and rolls him onto his back before putting two fingers to his neck in attempt to feel his pulse. “Jane, can you hear me?” Her tone is urgent, and she is momentarily relieved to feel his heartbeat. He is alive.

Her eyes scan him for injury but there are none, no blood and certainly no indications that anyone has broken in here to harm him. “Jane.” She says his name once but there is no response. Quickly, she removes her cell from her jacket pocket and dials for help. “Hello, this is Agent Lisbon, I have a man down and in need of urgent medical attention on the top floor of the building.”

The call is brief but does the job, so she moves on to call Agent Cho, but his phone is engaged, she assumes that he is calling his colleagues to try and bring them back into work. Instead, she leaves him a message on his answer phone. “Cho, you’re in charge. I’ve got to get Jane to the hospital, I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he is out. Keep me posted on any progress.” And with that she hangs up.

Wracking her brain for what to do this in this scenario, she shortly finds herself putting him into the recovery position. She forcefully pushes the chair, which she assumed he trundled off, out of the way before she moves him onto his side with his hand supporting his head, keeping his airway clear, and manoeuvring one of his legs to stop him from wobbling. Seeing him in this state makes her heart ache.

It isn’t long before she hears a presence approaching and two medics appear looking wary, she assumes because they had to try and find their way to her, but they both look thankful when they spot the brunette. “Agent Lisbon?” One of them questions, and she nods as the other one is immediately crouching at the patient’s side. “I’m Harley and this is Will, can you tell us what happened here?”

“I-I don’t know, I found him like this.” She stands up and takes a step away from her friend, “I put him in the recovery position. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You’ve done a great job.” Harley tells her, as he starts to unpack some equipment. “What’s his name?”

“Jane. Patrick Jane.”

Not wanting to get in the way, she tries her best to keep out of the medic’s space, but she struggles to look at the mentalist laying helplessly on the floor. Instead, she takes a look around which is when she notices his cup on a small table, next to a tea strainer and a brown paper bag. Her expression changes from one of concern to a confused one. He wouldn’t… Right?

The two medics are talking animatedly to each other as they check the man’s vitals and start to unravel an oxygen mask. “His pupils are dilated, and heartbeat is irregular.” One of them mutters and suddenly she is experiencing déjà vu. So, similarly to how Agent Cho did at their last victim’s house, she takes a sniff of the strainer and her suspicions are swiftly confirmed. Belladonna.

She glances back at him and cannot help feeling anger edging in. How stupid could he be? “I think he has ingested belladonna in his tea. It is toxic.” She alerts the paramedics who both briefly look bewildered before they turn their attention back to the patient.

“Agent Lisbon, did someone do this to him or did he do it to himself?” Will asks, just as another couple of medics appear but this time with a bright orange stretcher.

“Himself.”

“Okay, do you believe he was making an attempt on his life?”

“No!” She exclaims, sounding pretty sure with herself, but then doubt creeps in as she remembers his odd behaviour over recent weeks. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

All she can do is watch. Watch the four medical professionals strap Patrick to the stretcher. The hint of condensation in his oxygen mask tells her that he is breathing which does put her at some kind of ease, but this is the second time in a matter of days that these toxins have been in his system, that can’t be good.

Once again, he will be spending some time in the hospital having his stomach pumped. This time she isn’t going to let him discharge himself. “Stay calm Agent Lisbon. He will be alright.” She hears Harley say in a soothing tone, before he and the other medics stand to their feet; lifting up Jane on the stretcher as they do so.

She hadn’t realised that she let her guard down, displaying her internal struggle of trying to keep her cool but now he mentions it, her breathing is laboured and her hands shaking. Damn it. Right now, she needs to stay calm, but she is doing anything but, when he needs her too. Lisbon cannot help but feel ashamed.

\--------------------

On arrival at the hospital, the consultant was taken to have his stomach pumped leaving the agent to her own devices in the corridor. She requested him be put in a private room, with an officer from Sac PD on the door because she doesn’t want him to escape again. He needs to remain in his hospital bed until the doctors see that he is fit to leave.

Bertram called, her superior, expressing his concern about the health of Jane but not just his physical health, his mental health as well. It got her thinking once again that perhaps he is not as psychiatrically sound as he makes out to be.

She phoned the team to update them on the situation and to find out information about the case. Apparently it is an easy one, robbery gone wrong and they have a suspect in custody. So she told them to go home and sleep, they can question him in the morning.

It has been around four hours now since Lisbon found her colleague unconscious in his makeshift living space. He is still out for the count, the effects of the toxic tea appearing to have a stronger hold on him this time than before. She sits at his bedside and waits, her eyelids heavy, but she doesn’t feel like sleeping; not until she talks to him anyway. Asks him why he did what he did.

For a second there she thought that she lost him. The image of him just lying there, motionless, is tattooed on her mind. The relief she felt when her fingers found a weak, irregular pulse is like no relief she has ever experienced before. It made her feel alive.

His sleep is deep but noisy. Like every tiny noise that surround his snoozing state is being amplified to the max. The rhythmic beating of his heart monitor is deafening and appears to be getting louder.

It is nearly three in the morning when she spots the slight movements from his form. The index finger on his right-hand twitching along with his eyelids that seem to flutter. “Jane.” She utters his name for what could be the hundredth time of the night whilst leaning forward to get closer to him. He is waking up. Finally.

The bright lights almost blind him as he tries to open his eyes. His ears are ringing, and lungs feel dense, like trying to even breathe is a struggle. It almost hurts. Jane hates pain, is terrified of it, so why is he here?

Somehow he manages to turn his head when his vision begins to clear, the outline of the brunette’s form sitting in his line of sight. A couple more blinks and he can clearly see his friend sat at his bedside with her arms crossed and a pissed off expression on her face. “Oh shit…” He mumbles as it dawns on him what has happened. He went too far.

“Yeah, oh shit.” She sarcastically replies, “What do you think you are playing at messing around with that stuff?”

That stuff? Oh. The belladonna.

It was stupid. Stupidly dangerous to consume it again, especially without having any knowledge of how to consume it safely. He randomly mixed an amount he thought would work with some tea leaves which was incredibly unsafe. But he felt desperate. “I wanted to see my daughter again.”

“Jane, the hallucinations aren’t real.” She states angrily but then quickly realises her tone isn’t appropriate, so manages to calm down. “And did you? Can you?”

“No.” He murmurs sadly with a slight shake of his head. “Saw a couple of flying fish and a rabbit, but no Charlotte.”

“Oh Jane I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, all that anger she felt has disappeared in a poof of smoke. Probably because of seeing how vulnerable he is, they may be colleagues, partners, but first and foremost they are friends. “No, I’m sorry. It was stupid of me.”

His voice is raspy, and he coughs in attempt to clear it, but he looks so defeated. Lisbon gets to her feet to pour some water into a plastic cup which sits at his bedside, before she carefully passes it over to him.

Her first thought is to help him. To guide the cup to his lips and tilt it so the liquid can release into his throat, but she decides against it. He manages just fine, maybe with a slight shake of his hand. “Thank you.” He mutters when passing it back to her, she places the cup back on the side before going back to sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

Neither of them say a word for a few seconds but it feels like so much longer than that. Both are trying to work out what to say next, but his mind is working slowly, and she has too many questions cluttering her head. “Did you find me?” He queries and she nods with a blank look on her face. “What happened?”

“I was about to go home when a call came in with a new case, so I went upstairs to tell you.” Her voice is low, almost monotone, like she is trying to keep her cool. The truth is that she doesn’t want him catching on about how worried she was. “You were unconscious on the floor and I called for help, thankfully you left your door unlocked.”

“I did that on purpose.” He remembers, as more and more information come back to him about his thoughts before making himself the tea. “I knew what I was doing was risky.”

“Risky?” The disproval is obvious in her tone and derisively she laughs to herself whilst running her fingers through her dark locks. She cannot believe him sometimes. “They asked me if it was a suicide attempt.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said I didn’t know, because I don’t… Should I call Sophie Miller?”

“No, I don’t need her.” The _I’ve got you_ is lost on his lips. “It was just a stupid mistake.”

The fact that she didn’t know the answer to if he made an attempt on his life upsets him greatly. He didn’t realise the impression he was giving off. Yes, recent months have been hard, but he isn’t suicidal. Despite his demons and the loose ends that he has yet taken care of, he enjoys his life. There are just moments of… difficulties.

His eyes scan his surroundings once while he hopes to notice something, anything, little things, to prove to himself that his poisoned tea hasn’t had too terrible an affect. When his glances linger on the closed door, Lisbon follows his line of sight and spots the officer guarding Jane through the little window. “What did I do?” He indicates to the uniformed fella, obvious confusion in his voice.

“I don’t want you running away again.”

If he was on top of things, he would make some witty remark him but instead he stays silent, looking guilty. It is now he sees how tired she looks. “What time is it?”

“Like three, four in the morning.” She replies with a casual shrug.

“What? Why are you here?” He sounds shocked but also appalled. “Go home Lisbon. Go and sleep. I will stay put. I promise.”

Does she trust his promise? No, not really. She knows how much he hates hospitals and any sort of medical professional; he is freaked out by them. He won’t see the need to be here because he is conscious and talking and would try to persuade his doctor that too. Hence, the need of the guard.

However, she is tired, and she trusts the Sac PD officer to be good enough at his job to keep an out-of-it Patrick Jane in the hospital. “Okay, I will be back in the morning. Get some rest.” It doesn’t take long for her to leave out of the door with the promise of sleep beckoning.

\--------------------

Three hours of sleep doesn’t seem enough, but she has functioned on much worse. Director Bertram okayed for her to take a step back from the unit today whilst they deal with what seems to be an open-shut case. Cho is in charge and he will pull through, she knows he will. He is a very competent agent.

She quickly swung by the CBI headquarters on the way to the hospital to pick up paperwork that she can complete at his bedside. Today isn’t a day off after all, it is just filled with a different kind of itinerary. She wonders if Jane got any rest. Or whether his thoughts were too loud to allow him to.

A part of her was surprised to see him still in his bed, something that she cannot hide which he decides to poke fun at. Once it doesn’t get the reaction he craved he becomes huffy as it really dawns on him the position he got himself into. “I really feel fine Lisbon, this is all unnecessary. You are so bored that you are doing paperwork!”

“I have to do paperwork it is part of my job!” She states the obvious. “You will get out today but the doctor they want to discharge you doesn’t start his shift until midday and then the process takes time, hence the paperwork.”

He is glad that she is here with him, it means he is distracted from the feeling of shame he has been experiencing since he woke in this bed. However, he wished that she wasn’t so busy and pressured by work so they could chat. Then he remembers that although they are friends, the guard on his door and the stress crease on her forehead tells him that her being here is a work thing. She is probably under orders to be here.

Lisbon peers up from her papers and spots an unhappy expression on the consultant’s face and frowns, wondering what is going on his head. Jane is private though, tries to hide his weaknesses from everyone, so she knows that he is unlikely to spill. “That Betty Fulford is having a mental health assessment.” She attempts to make conversation.

“Not surprised.” He hums, “She is a bit bonkers.”

His expression hasn’t changed, and he seems not-at-all interested in conversing, which to her is a red flag. The man who usually has something and everything to say is lost, and it pains her to see it.

The brunette shuts the file she was working through and sighs. “Jane, are you okay?” His blue eyes snap to meet her green ones but when he opens his mouth to reply, she is quick to cut off his lie. “I want the truth. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear.”

“It’s been a weird few days… but I will be okay.” He attempts to persuade but he can see that she doesn’t completely buy it. “Hospitals make me uneasy. I’d rather not stay here longer than I really have to.”

“Okay.” She nods, she may want him to stay put but she also doesn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. “I will go find out an ETA for the doctor so we can get you out of here.” He is very relieved at this and even manages a smile when she gets to her feet. When she reaches the door, however, she momentarily falters.

The agent turns back round to look at her friend who definitely looks pastier than usual, almost blending in with the sheets. “Will you stay at mine tonight?” She questions and offers all in one sweeping statement that definitely surprises him. “Just so I can keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t want to be nuisance.”

She almost laughs at this and she probably would if the situation wasn’t so serious. “When are you _not_ a nuisance?” She asks making him roll his eyes. “You being where I can see you tonight will make me less worried. So… please?”

He agrees with a small nod before she leaves the private hospital room in search of a doctor. Maybe he got it wrong, maybe she is here because she genuinely cares and is concerned about him.

\--------------------

The whole getting discharged from hospital thing took a lot longer than either of them were expecting. It is nearly five o’clock when they get to Lisbon’s apartment, both feeling shattered from the events of the last twenty-four hours. “Do you want some tea?” She offers, a proposal he gladly takes.

Watching her tiredly work around her kitchen, whilst he sits at the table, he suddenly feels a pang of guilt about the situation he put her in. It must not have been pleasant to find him unconscious in his loft space. “Hey Lisbon.” She turns away from her boiling kettle, an inquisitive look on her face. “I am sorry.” To say she is stunned to hear those words come from his lips unprompted is an understatement. “Finding me how you did must have been scary and I feel terrible about that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun.” The image of him lying there, helpless, motionless, is engrained in her mind. “I am just glad that you are okay.” It seems like the thing to say but as the words leave her mouth, she knows that she doesn’t fully mean them. “Can you honestly tell me that you are okay?”

She thinks back to paramedic Will asking her whether the poisoning was intentional, asking if she thought that he made an attempt on his life. How unsure she felt and how stressful that was. This may not be a pleasant conversation, but it is one they need to have.

Patrick sits back in his chair, his eyes remaining fixated on her features like if he looks away then he admitting to some kind of guilt. What he wants to do is shrug off her question, tell her that she is overthinking things, but he can tell that answer won’t do. She is serious and the silence that followed her question has been too long for him to play dumb.

The only sound in the room is the whistling of the kettle as it nears to completion and it forces her to look away, to remove it from the heat. He quietly observes as she pours the water into two mugs before adding a teabag to one and some instant coffee in the other. It isn’t long before she is sat in front of him, and he has the hot beverage in his hands.

He takes a small sip, immediately enjoying the flavour and the soothing feeling which washes over him. It is exactly what he needed. So much can be solved with a cup of tea. “Thank you.” He murmurs, indicating to the drink.

“You’re welcome.” Her reply is assisted by a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. He can tell her mind is still plagued by her question which has been left hanging between them. “Jane-”

“Honestly?” He cuts her off, preparing to answer the question so she doesn’t mind the interruption. “I don’t know. Most of the time I am fine, better than, but…”

“But?” She urges him on.

“Sometimes the Red John investigation gets to me, but you know that.” And she does, anyone can see it when working with him. Whenever they get even the smallest of leads, he almost turns into a different person and his behaviour becomes frantic. “The repetitive trend of us finding evidence that could lead us to him but then it takes us nowhere is chipping away at me.” Him admitting this is so hard, and she knows that, which makes her appreciate his candidness even more. “But I can’t stop. Not until he is caught.”

The day when Red John is dealt with will be a good day for a lot of people and Lisbon cannot wait for that day. To be able to see her friend, her partner, properly at ease for the first time in the lengthy duration she has known him will be special. “I understand that.” She half nods to add to her point. “But if you ever feel in a sticky situation then I want you to talk to me.”

“I will.”

“Jane, I mean it. I need you to promise me.” When she says that she _needs_ it, he understands that she is deadly serious. Her tone is pleading which is not something he hears from her often. “I will continue to support you in your pursuit for justice, even if that means bending the rules on occasion, but I can’t support you if it ends up killing you. I need you to understand that.”

The crack in her voice makes the guilt he was already feeling almost double in size. He doesn’t want to hurt her. “I watched my father drive himself to death and I can’t do that again.” And he believes her.

Jane glances down into his cup, almost hoping the amber liquid gives him the courage and answers he needs. It doesn’t of course but the almighty feeling of wanting to make her feel better takes over. “Okay.” He mumbles before looking back up at her softening expression. “I promises I will talk to you… but that is a two-way street. Okay Lisbon?”

“Okay.” The few seconds of silence that follow feel incredibly awkward. They are both very reserved people and discussing “feelings” and “emotions” never comes easy to either of them. They can thank their upbringings for that, both having emotional stunted fathers did have a fair few negative effects. “Should we order takeout?”

“Chinese or pizza?”

“Chinese.” She decides, having eaten case-closed pizza with the team the day before.

“It is on me, to say thank you.”

He really appreciates everything she has done for him not only in the past day but also during the years of trouble he has caused her. At first, it didn’t bother him because she was just a useful tool in his hunt for Red John but now, they are true friends. He cares about her. “I’m not going to argue with that! Patrick Jane paying for something without being asked...” She laughs.

The curly-haired man’s mouth falls agape in shock at what she is insinuating. “Are you saying I’m tight?”

“Maybe a little.”

As quickly as the conversation got heavy, the pair are already back with their jibes and light-hearted chat. That’s the beauty of a real friendship. Being able to not be bogged down by the bad stuff whilst also taking it as seriously as necessary. They may have their issues, but Lisbon can wholeheartedly say that no one can read her better than Jane can, and he would say that no one understands him better than she.

They have each other’s back. They are partners. They share each other’s joy, frustration and anguish.

Tomorrow, they could catch Red John, or it could be months or years from now. One thing that is for certain is when they do, and they will, they are going to enjoy that feeling, that relief. They dream about the day that they can sleep easy.


End file.
